The Art of Curiosity

The Art of Curiosity

In my last blog, ‘Stage Fright’, I mentioned the Art of Curiosity and I’d love to delve deeper into this idea.

As coaches, we engage in conversations. As elite coaches we must have become master conversationalists.

Whether we’re teaching inexperienced (even complete beginner) riders or training high level competitors, we aim to engage in a three way discussion: Coach, Rider and Horse.

By the way, the reason the horse is last on the list is because he or she didn’t choose to be part of the conversation and is therefore perfectly entitled to remove themselves from it!

We may also include parents, carers, owners, sponsors and other professionals at times. Everyone needs to be invested and continually seeking agreement. Through discussion and collaboration.

You’ll begin to see, contrary to some beliefs, that this model puts us all on an equal footing.

The coach is not the all-knowing font of knowledge and solutions, but another cog in a delicately balanced machine.

The objective is to create the most harmonious, effective and consistent performance from the partnership. Rosettes and medals may be an attractive cherry on the top, but never the ultimate aim.

So, how do we engineer this great conversation? Our riders must be given autonomy. If they’re competitors they have to perform on their own in the ring. Even those who don’t compete will have more practice time without us than lesson time under our guidance.

Therefore, if they find a solution or method by their own route, rather than the old military method of ramming it down their throats, “Because I say so”, psychologists confirm that it’s far more likely to stick.

Here’s a suggestion: Each time you find yourself wanting to give a command or instruction, ask yourself whether it could be reframed as a question?

A couple of simple examples: “Try to come slower next time” reframes as, “How can you change your approach this time?” “Try to keep your lower leg back” translates to, “I wonder if there’s anything you could focus on in your position to help you both to keep a better balance?” You get the idea…

How effective listening creates wholesome and constructive conversation.

I’m so grateful to Charlie Unwin * of Centre 10 applied psychology for introducing us to the remarkable Janie van Hool and her work, “The Listening Shift.” * For me this was a revelation as to how to take discussion to a deeper, more effective level.

Simple really!:

You’re at a dinner and you ask the person next to you what they do (poor question, by the way).

“I’m in IT…” End of conversation.

But try, “Forgive me, but what does that actually mean?”

“I design apps”

“That’s amazing!"

"I’ve just downloaded this incredible app that helps me to create transcripts of my lessons. How does that work?”

And so on…

Now rewind to the conversation with your young student:

“How can you change your approach this time?”

“I think I should come slower”

“How do you think that’s going to help your pony?”

“She won’t jump so flat”

“Why? How does that work?”

Three benefits here -

First, your rider realises that you respect their opinion, thus deepening the trust between you.

Second, you empower them to think deeper to resolve issues for themselves.

Third, they become their own coach, making us almost redundant! At least, smoothing the transition from teacher/instructor to coach (the eyes on the ground) and ultimately trainer/mentor (the person they elect to come to simply to keep on track)

1. Practise asking questions rather than giving instruction.

2. Practise following a question with another. Delve deeper.

3. Use “Why?” and “How?” questions as often as possible.

This is about practising a subtle, yet incredibly effective method of communication. Try it! See how you get on.